The Clo Clo Monster

TMI so don't let it phase you. You were warned.

So, the most wonderful, dreamy, helpful doctor (not an exageration. I love him and I honestly think he is a gem. Call me, i'll refer you) decided that I should try out clomid. Not for long, only a few cycles. I am NOT an expert, and I won't pretend to be someone that took a high dose for an extended period of time. I have friends that did, and they are my heros. I will let you know how my few cycles went.

I believe that everyone has an opinion. 

Clomid has made many people pregnant and I think it can be a great option. If you are thinking about it I recommend that you pray. Get answers. Is it the right time? The right thing? If it is then med up, but if not, that's okay too.

Here's my top 10. 

And, it is so okay to laugh, because let's be honest, some of these will make you roll.

1. Before taking clomid, I had to have a blood pregnancy test (I know it's for safety and they HAVE to make sure, but come on. Salt that a little more). The nurse called me several days later to let me know I was not pregnant and could begin clomid. I was pretty nervous on the phone and responded, "okay, so I can start taking the chlamidia now?... i mean, uh.." The nurse politely contained her laughter, but you know she went and double checked my chart after to ensure I didn't have the clap. To be clear, I didn't and never have, but I was so nervous and I had just had a conversation about the other C word and it was the C word in my head.

2. My favorite word is the F word. It was in my head ALL day long. I know it's not okay, I know I can't say that. I was worried that if the doctor increased my dose, I'd start dropping it on everyone at work. And that's frowned upon.

3. I didn't feel in control of myself. I felt "off". I knew when I was being ridiculous but I would feel that whatever I was being ridiculous about was so important.

4. Life is better with your office door shut.
5. Life on clomid is better when you get eyelash extensions. It just is.

Sidenote: my eyelashes are amazing, but fell off quicker if I was on the clo the week I got them done. It happened twice, so that's fact based. And, I have the best lash artist in all of Utah, they never fall off. Ever. Except on those weeks. And, it was only if they were brand new that week. What the hormone?!

6. Laughing while crying. That's when you know Clomid has made you bat shit crazy.

7. Gain 3 pounds, lose 3 pounds. In a matter of hours. "I have nothing that fits" was a struggle and I swear I look lile a bloated balloon in our anniversary trip pictures. 

8. I'm grateful that we tried. We almost didn't. But then I would have wondered if we should have. It didn't work, but what if it had. And, I didn't take it because I felt crazy. A baby is worth the crazy. 

9. I fell in love with Casey that much more. He is the most patient person. He gets a look and knows it's time to walk away, or leave wherever we were. He took care of extra chores or planned dates. (Oddly enough, I still liked him) 

9a. (Because I have more) knocking is a priority. DO NOT come to my home unannounced. We are on a very strict schedule at the Holmes house. (Note- the new med allow for visitors more frequently. But still, expensive strict schedule over here.) I realize it sounds rude, but my goodness it is science. And, we follow it.

10. The weight loss after clomid. Uum, yeah, I've lost 5 pounds in 2 weeks (granted I'm also changing my diet. But good sweet mama, I feel like a $20 dollah bill over here. )

Overall, I wish it would have worked. But, I wish it could have worked like the discovery channel too. (Excuse that vulgar reference. I'm funny not on medication too). I know we will have 15 babies exactly when we should. Until then, we'll try to be positive or we may just shut ourselves in doors for the day. 

I'm sad clomid didn't work for us. I absolutely would do it for 20 more cycles if it would work. My doctor didn't think it would for us. So, we are on to new things. Good luck to any of you that may still be taking clomid! I'm sorry if you have to do 1 cycle or 13 or 25. They all suck because this sucks. There will be a great reward at the end. 

Xo