If I had been asked, "who I wanted to be in life?" In high school, I would have given you a completely different answer than who I am. People always list the things they would go back and change if they could, and I have always thought if something changed, I wouldn't be where I am now. And, while I didn't love the road it took to get here, I absolutely could not think of a person more perfect in this world than Case. And, funny enough, he's probably not perfect for everyone, but he is for me. So, if I had to go back and change something, I would maybe warn myself of what's to come. There will be a storm that has to pass before this all gets good.
Dear 16 year old Kalli,
It doesn't matter. None of it. Switch your classes to an easier load. This is high school, and you need to have fun too. You aren't going to be a doctor, but I promise something much better is in store. Stop spending your money on food. You'll always need to remember that lesson in life. :) If someone makes you cry on your birthday, hit them. Sure, hitting isn't nice, but neither is being an ass hole.
You are going to meet a few good men along the way. You won't understand the decisions you make, because they are hurtful, but you may have to let a few people down in order to get where you need to be.
You will meet bad ones. You will feel alone. You will be in situations that you won't know how to get out of. You won't know the depth of the situation for a long time. You won't be able to get out of a bad situation. You will finally give in to thinking that this is how it's supposed to be. Then something will happen, and one cold sunday night you will say things you weren't planning on saying. Someone is there to help you. You will realize that this was exactly the time it had to be done, and why you were unable to end it so many times before. When that time happens, run like hell and don't look back. You will always know the love your Heavenly Father has for you. After that, you will know that he never left you. He just needed you there for a minute.
You will meet someone. You won't settle. At all. I promise that even during the dark times, if you could know what's coming, it's so worth it. Casey is so worth it. He is exactly the person you are supposed to be with. He's calm; he is the moderation to your crazy. And, his love is eternal. He makes you one million times better. And, he was worth the wait.
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I think there are so many times we want to change our story, our choices, but they were important and necessary to be exactly where we are, which is where we need to be. I know if I had done even one little thing different, I wouldn't have married Case. And, this love is better than any I could have found myself in.
Always know your own worth, and marry someone who is worthy of your love.
Marry Up.
Because it's that much better.
Happy love month.
Xoxo
