Weekly Goals: March 29 - April 4

Goals are late this week. I have them already but I haven't made myself accountable to you yet so here we go. 

These are last week's goals that I passed off. I'll still work on them, but they aren't formal goals for this week.

1. Continue with no coke! I have had a sip or two of Casey's but that is it. I am really pleased with myself!
5. Log food daily on myfitnesspal.

These are the ones I have to keep working on...

2. Slow down with Sprite.
3. Don't stress what I can't fix.
4. Get 10,000 for 4 days on the fitbit.
6. Work out 3x per week.
7. Take a home lunch 3 days a week.

I won't make excuses, I didn't apply myself. However, I plan on doing a better job for the latter half of this week. Without further adu, this week's complete list of goals.

1. Slow down on Sprite.
2. Increase water intake. 24 Oz per day. I know I can make this happen. I just need to pay attention and do it. (This goal will probably stay awhile because I'm trying to increase my H20.)
3. Get 10,000 steps for 4 days on fitbit. I haven't done it yet this week so I need to for the next 4 days! Here we go!
4. Work out 3x per week. Guys, I need help. I NEED ideas. I'm bombing this goal. 5. Take a home lunch 3x this week. So far, I have not accomplished any this week. However, Monday I was at a training so lunch was provided and Tuesday my pregnant friend wanted to eat out. I can't argue that.
6. Don't stress what I can't fix. I really, really want to focus on this one. The thought of my stress level makes me stressed. And, I really need to not be stressed. I'll do a whole post on stress someday.
7. Read scriptures or a conference talk each day to prepare spiritually for General Conference. GC is sweet, you can watch too {lds.org}

Good luck with your goals, gems. 

Xoxo

Family

Tonight, I had the opportunity to watch the General Women's Meeting of the church.

Before watching, the young women and leaders were given a packet to write on filled withvarious speakers names and pictures . We could write what we learned or we could write down questions before the conference began and search for those answers. (It is a personal progress pass off)

I wrote down my questions, and began to watch. I have been open with the fact that I often feel like I don't hear what I am supposed to, I don't slow down enough to catch those little promptings. I get nervous that I can't hear the still small voice over my thundering opinion in my brain.

Within a matter of minutes, my questions were directed. Not answered in a simple "yes" or "no" but more of a reminder that my prayers are heard. Everything will happen as it is supposed to. And I am not as far off the path of hearing the Holy Ghost as I sometimes think I am. Everything will happen just as it is supposed to, and in HIS time. Not mine. 

Sister Cheryl Esplin spoke of her ancestor Elizabeth Staley Walker (?), "do not bury your testimony in the ground." So, even though it might still be growing, I know that Heavenly Father hears my prayers. He hears your prayers. Do not feel guilty when you ask questions in your prayers. Your prayers are no less important than another person and your Heavenly Father wants to know your thoughts, dreams, and goals. Heavenly Father is always there waiting for you to reach out and develop your relationship with him. Grasp that relationship. Become a better person each day through the strength the He gives you. I am not perfect. Heavenly Father knows that. He loves me anyways. And, he loves you. All of us.

Sister Carole M. Stephens spoke of trials. We are not all going through the same thing. Some of us may have a divorce, feel abandoned, or have lost a child. I can't say that I know how that feels. I don't even think I can say that I know what it feels like to struggle with infertility, because there are those that have struggled for far longer than I. We are here to unite and support one another. Help others who may be going through something, remind them that they are loved. They are special. My favorite line from her talk was "your sphere of influence is large." Think of everyone's life and how you could make a difference if you realize that you could show others the Light of Christ in you. Think of all the lives you could change and the people you could impact. Isn't that an amazing thought?

There were several songs and slideshows  during the conference. Every family is different. No family is less important because it has no kids, or because a person is single. Or aged. Or anything. All families are special. I cried with the couple that has faced infertility for 5 years, I've cried for friends, and friends of friends. I want them all to have a softball team of babies. And, I pray for them. I hope that couple feels those prayers. And, I hope their family grows in whatever way the Lord has in store for them. I wanted to hug the wife in that video. I want her to know that I will pray with her. I want her to know that I appreciated her testimony and example.

I've often heard the story that if all the trials in the world were placed in a pile and we were able to choose what we would be faced with, we would keep our own trials. I think of my mom, I think of all the moms who have lost a child. I think they were strong and brave. And, I think they took something that they knew the rest of us were unable to handle. I think of those with no food to eat, and wonder if I was selfish to have taken this life and made them live a life so much harder. I hope that if we chose our trials that I took something so that someone else wouldn't have to. I hope that through the bad days, I can be an example to others, that together we can lift one another up and get through the tougher times.

President Henry Eyring spoke last. Whilst I can mourn with those who mourn there is only one person who truly knows how their pain feels. The Holy Ghost can and will comfort you. Allow yourself to feel that comfort and know that you are loved. 
I know that Heavenly Father has a prophet on the Earth today. I know our spiritual leaders can provide us guidance. I know that there IS modern day revelation. I know Heavenly Father communicates to each of us in many different ways. I know one of them is through General Conference and through the prophet and apostles. I know Heavenly Father has a special, and probably very different, message for each of us. I know if we take the time, and really listen, we can hear exactly what we need to hear.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to listen to conference next week. I know it provides me with blessings and answers. I know I can feel my Father's love. I know I have been extremely blessed. Everyday. And, I hope that through my gifts, talents, and blessings that I can share that love with others because everyone should know how loved they are.

**for those of you anxiously waiting, goals will be up tomorrow**

Birthdays from Heaven

Once each year, we send balloons into the sky for the sister I never knew here in this life. If I pick the balloons they are usually light pink and some other "girl" color. Last year, I think I finally asked my mom if she had a favorite color. I think the answer was blue or yellow. I, selfishly, didn't remember and it was a variation of baby pink again this year.

My sister would have been 32 this year. I don't know what birthdays are like when you are 32. They should be more mature. Therefore, I bought my mom light pink and gold balloons this year. I really wanted to get the neon pink, it was a birthday after all. For some reason, I had a hard time escaping the baby pink. I wonder if I will always picture my older sister as smaller, because that's the only her that this life knows.

Some people say it's weird to celebrate a birthday from Heaven. I promise you, it's not. It's better. No one in my family forgets March 23. We just don't.  As a kid, I don't  remember what I would say. I still don't always say the right thing. Some years, I ask questions about her. Some years, I just say a simple "happy birthday" to my mom. Some years, we send flowers. This year we didn't. Some years, we just have dinner at home. This year we went out to dinner with my parents. Some years, we make cupcakes. Others, we don't. There usually isn't the birthday song or presents. But March 23 has a presence.

It's a reminder, and a not so subtle one, that this Earth isn't perfect. What is perfect is what we have been promised if we follow our Heavenly Father's plan for this life.  I KNOW that I will see my sister again, I KNOW I will remember her, I KNOW that I knew her before, in Heaven. I KNOW she knew the plan before coming to this earth. I KNOW she knew her life would be hard, and I KNOW she accepted the task. I KNOW she isn't in pain in Heaven. I KNOW she is happy. I KNOW there is a reason she couldn't stay and be a big sister, I KNOW there is something so important there that she had to do instead. 

And, I know before this life, my mom knew she would only get her for a short time. I know she accepted that and whatever pain it would bring, because she knew the bigger plan for her. And, she must have such an important plan to only need a physical body for a short time. I know that my mom had a really hard time. I've asked. I don't think it gets easier. I don't think the sadness ever leaves. I think one just learns to live being that sad. I also know that my mom didn't give up. She kept going, which was the plan also. Most days, probably not because she wanted to. We have been promised we will see our sister again. How sad I will be when it is my sister's turn to have our mom again. (And, Im grateful she is still letting me keep her for A LOT more time)

I know in Heaven we were asked if this would be our families plan. If we could do this trial. We all said yes. Then I'm sure my mom and sister were taken aside and asked if they really could do this. Because being a mom is something more sacred than all else. And, if the world were perfect that would never be taken away. I know they said yes. I know when we get the Heaven there will be a special club of the most elite mothers that have lost a baby. I know it's a club that none of them are glad they are in. But those are the strong women that have handled the hardship so gracefully. They have been an example to everyone around them. They have the spirit of Christ in them. I am so thankful that one of them is my mom. She has been the best example of Christ's love for my whole life.  And, I could not be who I am without her raising me like she did.

I can't wait for the day when we all be together in Heaven. Sitting as a family in the living room, telling stories and laughing. Heaven has living rooms, right?  I know she will tell us the amazing things she accomplished. I know we will all be so proud. And, I can't wait for one million hugs. I can't wait to remember my sister again.

Weekly Goals: March 22- March 28

Alright, who remembers the weekly goals? It's time to jump back on the bandwagon and make things happen.

If you don't remember how it works, read up, {here}.

And, don't forget to tell leave a comment with your own goals below. 
Accountability is half the battle, do yourself a favor. 

Mine are :

1. CONTINUE with no coke! (That's right, I said it, continue. I haven't had a coke in probably 2 weeks. It's working.)
2. Slow down with Sprite. I replaced coke with sprite. I'm doing better at home, but when go out or work is rough, I drink a sprite (or a dr. Pepper). It's better, but it's time to be the best. I don't want to waste my precious calories on liquids. I'm also not trying to stop all together. My meds be makin me dizzy and sometimes sprite helps.
3. Don't stress what I can't fix. EVERYTHING hurts my feelings and adds stress. If I can't change it, then this is the week I stop worrying about it.
4. Work out 3 times this week.
5. Get 10,000 steps at least 4 days this week.
6. Log food on myfitnesspal every day. Be within my calories 5 out of 7 days. This current week was 3 days out of 7. (Add me-- my username is kallifornia27)
7. Eat a home lunch 3 days this week.  

There you have it. I have 7 goals because 1. I like odd numbers 2. I really like the number 7 and 3. I don't  actually like the number 5. You can have as many or as few goals as you choose. Remember the rules, if you don't complete a goal it stays on the chart for the next week!

Also, if you look today, my goals all relate to physical fitness. That's not true of my goals everytime. Last time, my goals were all financial. It's what you choose, what will make you feel better, more accomplished, more improved.

We've got this!

Recap: Sittin On A Bunny Hill- March 7, 2012

                After meeting Casey and hanging out a few times, he mentioned he liked to spend extra time on the mountain. In his family, lots of sports are played including snowboarding and skiing. Rewind a few months and you would know I just got a brand new snowboard (I had only been once in my life and for some reason felt good enough about it that I should have gear. . . uum whatever. I guess it worked out) So, I have this new snowboard collecting dust and it’s March. NEVER GONNA USE IT.

                I decide Casey and his brother Matt should be the lucky ones that get to accompany me on the bunny hills. I figured if I had a group go, they could leave me at my level and could go to the black diamond courses. Then I could say I went with a group, I still don’t have enough self-confidence to go alone apparently.

                I write Casey on Facebook (loser alert) and tell him we all should go boarding. He agrees and we plan a night after work to go night boarding (grown up jobs that make you work all day. BOO) Casey tells me to meet at his house at 5:30.

                I spent the day looking into nursing schools- great for my future, bad because I did not leave enough time to go shop for extra gear (goggles. Didn’t have time to get a helmet. STILL NEED ONE! Maybe for Christmas this year? Cough, Case?)

                I got to Casey’s house around 6. His brother Matt was just getting home off the mountain. I panic, I’m supposed to be going with everyone. If it’s just Case and I it’s like it’s a date. This can’t be a date. It’s a group thing. I CANNOT BE THE ONE THAT ASKED HIM OUT FIRST. UGH. I’m that girl. For forever.  Bad, bad, bad.  So, Matt takes one look at my board and starts laughing. I had put the bindings on all wrong- thank you google search. Fail. He and Casey begin to fix it as I go change. While changing I realize my snow pants from junior high are a little tight. Weird. Suck in the muffin top and let’s go. I walked out and asked Casey and Matt if this place took cards or I needed to run get cash. They looked at each other and said, “both”. (side note: I am famous for making things awkward, I’m still thinking/ wanting no date here. I asked him. Gross)

                The drive up to Wolf Mountain was so fun. Previous to this day, I thought Casey was nice and I wanted to be his friend, but that’s all I knew. He was quiet. And…mature. I just didn’t realize I was feeling his vibe. Back to the drive, I’m decent at coming up with enough random questions to fill drive time so that was good. I learned a little about Casey.

                We get to the hill, and begin gearing up- boots, hats, goggles (remember , I had to showcase my new purchase). I pulled out my debit card and asked Casey to hold it in his pocket. My pants were kinda tight. Just saying, don’t know if I could have held a debit card on my personage. He said “you don’t need this”. I exclaimed that I definitely did and he did not need to pay for me as we were just boarding and it was my idea.

                (oh, ps. Casey skis. Who is going to help me now? ) We go to the window to get our tickets. Casey buys two . He’s cute like that. I thank him and feel like a dweeb. Now he’s wasted money. I only bunny hill! He wasted money for me to bunny hill!

                Here’s where he starts raking in the points. I can’t even make it to the lift I’m so bad. Poor boy continues to sit with me every time I fall, help me up and just wait super patiently. I let Casey know that I definitely DO NOT do ski lifts. He assures me we will be fine. He had to essentially pick me up and put me on the lift. This “date” is so embarrassing! We get to the top. I’m beyond nervous. This is where I’m really really bad at snowboarding. Casey put his arm around me, pulled me in close, and carried me off the lift. Seriously, he is the sweetest boy in the whole world. I’m swooning. He didn’t leave my side for the next three hours. 97% of those hours were spent SITTING on the bunny hill. He was there every time. Never once did he leave to go ahead of me. He never once rolled his eyes, told me to hurry, or questioned why he came with me. He started making videos on his phone of my skills. …Maybe he just wanted to enter America’s Funniest Home Videos? He was a gem. Complete perfection. At the very end of the night, I did insist he go down a real run. I waited at the car happily. Snowboarding is freakin’ exhausting people!

                On the drive home, we talked more. I found out he went on his mission to Russia (find out more about our church here). I asked him to speak to me in Russian. And oh, speak to me he did. Amazing. Swooning. In Heat. Whoa, baby. We got home way too fast.  He helped me load all my stuff in my car and played with my phone for a really long time. (side note- of course he was doing some kind of number exchange, but let’s all pretend he was really sneaky. Good for a man’s ego)

                Sadly, all perfect first dates must come to an end. Sooner than we wanted since someone had to work the grave (yeah, snowboarding, grave, full day of work the next day. I’m a horrible scheduler).

                On the way home, I had a perma- smile. It hurt it was so big. You know how they tell you one person will be different? He is. I knew it right then. Of course, I tried to call my mom. She had a migraine and I got Dad instead. He was really happy and excited I had a lovely evening, but it wasn’t quite the mom reaction I was hoping for. I called Ash, his cousin. Then Allie. The smile just never left. It was too good. He is just perfect, everything I’ve ever needed.

                I got to Brigham City and decided to check out my phone. I had texted a strange number “hey. How are you?” Oh so Casey texted himself from my phone. I responded with “well, I don’t know how are you?” It continued from there. We haven’t stopped texting, calling, and spending time together since.